Woman Pretends Not to Recognize Ex When He Approaches Her Two Years After Keeping Relationship Secret and Then Ghosting Her: 'I can't be seen with a bigger girl'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Oct 31, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Welcome, ladies. While it may be considered quite noble to date people solely for their personality, the truth of the matter is that we all have personal preferences when it comes to physical attributes. There isn't anything wrong with that so long as you are not actively discriminating against or being cruel to those who do not fit your personal standard of physical attractiveness. Furthermore, you should not be ashamed of your preferences if they do not match the social ideal. In the event that you do experience shame, you should probably sort that out with a therapist instead of keeping your relationship with your non-conventionally attractive girlfriend a secret for two, whole years - as was the case in our story today!

Our plus-sized protagonist put up with being a dirty little secret due to insecurity; she felt that she was just lucky to be loved by someone. However, after coming home to see her apartment purged of her ex's belongings with no explanation, she was forced onto a path that led to her finally growing a backbone and becoming more confident in herself. Consequently, when she ran into her ex, she knew better than to engage. Scroll down to get a full account of the fated interaction. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/Unlucky_Butterfly_97 14h. AITAH for pretending I didn't know my ex?
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 02
    I (29 F) was in a secret relationship with Shane (27 M) for 2 years. The relationship was a normal relationship except nobody knew about it. Because I'm a bigger girl and I've never been in a relationship, I didn't push the issue. After 2 years of Shane living with me, I came home to all of his belongings gone. I tried to call him but he blocked my phone number and blocked me on Snapchat. He completely ghosted me. I find out through a mutual friend that he was in a public relationship with a wom
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 03
    3 weeks ago (A year after he ghosted me) I heard he was supposed to marry Jess but he caught her cheating. I also heard that his grandfather passed away last month.
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 04
    Last night I ran into him at the grocery store. He walked up to me and said "Hey, how have you been?". I looked at him funny and said "I'm sorry, do i know you?". He was stunned. After a second I walked past him and continued on my way. I told a mutual friend who said that I was cruel and mean for doing that when he's going through a rough time. That friend doesn't know about the secret relationship. Am I the ah le?
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 05
    *** I just wanted to add some details*** The friends in my friend group know that me and Shane no longer speak and that we dislike each other. I haven't told them the truth because they wouldn't believe me. Shane is very attractive and I'm fat. Also I'm pretty embarrassed about falling for it and being so desperate for affection that I just accepted how I was treated. I feel kind of bad because in my anger I forgot what he was going through. He was very close to his grandpa. 18.3k 1,471 14
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 06
    LovelyxLark • 8h Absolutely agree. He made his choice to ghost you and move on without any consideration for your feelings. While it's unfortunate that he's going through a tough time, it's not your responsibility to comfort him, especially after how he treated you. You owe him nothing OP. NTA 41
    via LovelyxLark
  • 07
    NTA Ok_Star_5584 • 14h Fantastic response by you. He left without an explanation. Perfectly reasonable for you to write him off as someone you never knew. ← Reply 14k
    via Ok_Star_5584
  • 08
    UnleashThePleasureX 13h • A good example of what goes around, comes around. 2.5k
    via UnleashThePleasureX
  • 09
    Lazy_Cheesecake1808 12h Tbh, she didn't really know him, did she? She was in a secret relationship with him, while he was in a public relationship with someone else (that she didn't know about at the time), so... I can't say I blame her for that reaction at all. He wanted to act all chummy with her like he hadn't been doing sh behind her back, didn't ghost her, and didn't break her heart. I think this belongs over on r/OhNoConsequences honestly, lol. Д 178
    via Lazy_Cheesecake1808
  • 10
    SeparateCzechs • 12h (Chefs kiss!) The only surprise is how could he be shocked? After two year she comes home to an empty apartment and not even a note. He blocked her on all platforms. The unmitigated chutzpah it would take to roll up after a year and ask how she is is mind boggling. To act hurt when she walked away has got to be an act. 162
    via SeparateCzechs
  • 11
    2PlasticLobsters • 10h Nah, I'm sure in his mind, the fat chick is supposed to be grateful for his attention. Just don't tell anyone. What a tool. ... 46
    via 2PlasticLobsters
  • 12
    tikisummer • 13h Perfect revenge, good for you. ... 21
    via tikisummer
  • 13
    Ironyismylife28 • 14h haha that is karma. NTA, and what a wonderful way he is, all while avoiding to point out what an unnecessary confrontation. Brava! Reply 4.7k
    via Ironyismylife28
  • 14
    trvllvr • 12h Honestly, he just expected OP to be all happy he spoke to her after treating her so horribly. Like he wasn't cruel in his actions. The problem is no one knows what he truly did, if they did know he was having a secret relationship and then ghosted her they'd probably feel differently. I mean not only did he ghost her, he used her for his own satisfaction until "something better" came along. He's an AH and karma found him! Congratulations OP on your stellar response to this person.
    via trvllvr
  • 15
    WinterFront1431 • 14h Your cruel? The dude left you after using you. The guy is getting a nice dose of karma. Good for you, girl. Reply 913
    via WinterFront1431
  • 16
    MxDuex 9h • TBF. The friend doesn't know about the history. Friend only knows that a mutual friend spoke to OP in the store while dealing with a fiance cheating and the loss of a family member, and that OP pretended not to know who they were. This is why context matters. With no context it seems like a thing to do for no reason. With context, OP is MORE than justified. 148
    via MxDuex
  • 17
    HedgehogHungry ⚫ 7h • I know, my jaw dropped when I read 2 YEARS. My brain thought it was going to be 2 months and I felt so bad for OP. I hope time has healed the wound of this treatment and she realizes she deserves someone who genuinely loves all of her and is more than proud to be seen and married to her. ... 17
    via HedgehogHungry
  • 18
    These-Squash8193 • 14h NTA, Id tell your friend she doesn't know the full story but that you don't want to disclose it either. Based on if she can respect that or not would tell me just how much of a friend they truly are. Reply 412
    via These-Squash8193
  • 19
    Autumn_Sweater • 9h If your friend doesn't know about the secret relationship, why tell them the story about snubbing the guy? What's the point? ↑ 82 ⇓
    via Autumn_Sweater
  • 20
    Unlucky_Butterfly_97 OP 7h • He knows me and Shane had a massive falling out, the whole friend group does. They think it's because Shane stole from me, which is true, but I haven't clarified anything else. I'm honestly extremely embarrassed that I fell for it. He was my first kiss, boyfriend, love, everything and it wasn't real. 115
    via Unlucky_Butterfly_97
  • 21
    snickerssq⚫ 14h You're actually my idol for that, continue being you ... Reply 164
    via snickerssq
  • 22
    imothro • 14h NTA. You weren't in a relationship, by the way. You were his dirty little secret. There is nothing normal about that from a relationship POV at all. Reply 813
    via imothro
  • 23
    User013579 • 14h I love it. Perfect response to someone who was obviously just using you. NTA of course. ... Reply 73
    via User013579

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boyfriend toxic Female Empowerment reddit story relationships girlfriend couples exes love sassy body positivity reddit thread red flag Reddit ghosting relationship drama dating
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